Family, I want a baby

I want a baby. I must be getting to that point in my life where I feel my biological clock ticking because I’ll be scrolling through Instagram, see a picture of the cutest baby ever and send it to Nick with something along the lines of “This is my baby. I want it.” Forget baby hungry, I’m baby starving. Who knew it would happen when I was 22. Anyways, Nick and I were talking the other night and my spiritual progression came up. I mean how I behave. I was proudly stating to Nick that I had already finished our lesson preparation for this Sunday (5 days before our lesson) and was pointing out how I had been telling people to pray to receive answers and even suggesting to Nick that we go to the temple. Now it’s not that I am not religious; I am just a lot more private about it than other people. But lately, Nick has been pointing out that I am more vocal and forthcoming about it. Which makes me proud of myself. I think it means I’m maturing or more comfortable with myself or something. Anyway, Nick started laughing at me as I am pointing out all my religious moments over the past couple weeks and told me to not be too proud. Of course, being the typical girl/wife that I am I got defensive and launched into how being good gets me what I want. And I want a baby. I explained to him that if I am really really good I’ll get one (I realize this sounds extremely spoiled but if you think about it, it makes sense. It’s the basis of what every little kid is taught from the moment they can understand what is going on. People work hard at work to make money, get their dream job, pretty much everything. Why couldn’t it work with a baby?) He didn’t understand so I set about explaining. I told him about how two weeks before I met him two years ago I made a conscious change in my thinking and behavior to become more invested in church and to focus on making myself a better person. I was never a bad person. But I was 19 and I was more focused on making friends and going out than I was on having a calling or focusing on others. Well, Nick was my reward. And it was awesome. We dated for four months and I was more in tune with the Spirit in those months than I had been the entire time I was at BYU so far. After four months, Heavenly Father decided to see how dedicated I was to this decision to be better in my life and Nick dumped me. I’m not denying it. Nick dumped me. And I did not see it coming. Well I decided that I would be fine and instead of going off the deep end and going out every night or worse staying home eating ice cream until I was too roly-poly to get to church, I threw myself into my ward activities. I wasn’t going to risk going backwards and starting all over again. I wanted to continue forward. Within weeks of Nick and I breaking up, I was called to be Relief Society teacher in my ward. It was the most fun I’d ever had in a singles ward. I met a whole bunch of girls I had lived next to for two years that I had never taken the time to get to know. I actually became friends with my bishop (a thought that had previously been extremely daunting…I don’t know why) and I was feeling great about myself. I was a totally better person and I grew a lot. And I enjoyed the whole process. It was awesome. And because I was so good, Nick came groveling back four months later. And he loved me all over again and the rest is history (WE GOT MARRIED!!! YAY US!!!)

After I finished this little heated speech to Nick, he smiled at me. Having said most of it in one breath I was still trying to breathe. I asked him why he was smiling. He told me I had just shared my testimony in a way. I didn’t understand but when I think about it for a minute I guess he is right. I had faith that if I was true to my beliefs and if I tried harder that I would be blessed. I had faith in Heavenly Father that He would provide the things I needed and wanted. I didn’t have major trials. Mine were trivial compared to what a lot of people have to endure. But at the time they seemed hard. And I am better because of them. My good thoughts and actions turned into habits and I love them. So right now I am trying to be super good because… babies: going to the temple, praying more (because honestly I forget sometimes), being more on top of my calling, being a better wife and friend, that sort of thing. Baby steps, but that’s ok. Change takes time.”

Love, 

Ali

Fam, Your Frozen Brother

Fam,

Frozen is a beautiful story, and I love it.

Let it go is a beautiful song, and I love it.

Of course a lot of people love it, Disney’s Frozen has done really well. Elsa, a future Queen, is born with greatness. However, her parents don’t realize this, and despite their best intentions, they push away Elsa’s talents and identity. One day after a few failures of trying to figure herself out, she has a break through moment and the song “Let it Go” is born. She is able to accept herself as she is and begin to tap the wonderful talent that is inside her.

Finding herself wasn’t without hiccups. She pushed away people that were willing to help and tried to do things alone. Alone she did do great things, but she still needed her sister and close friends there to help her to rise to her calling of Queen.

I think that all of us can relate to her journey in some way or another. I’m not suggesting that we relate because our parents or everyone’s parents are bad. In my case I am extremely grateful for amazing parents that work incredibly hard for me because they love me. However, all of us have been told by someone or something or some group or in some way that what makes us great, really isn’t great. In fact we often feel pressure that we should change. And additionally like Elsa, when we search out who we really are, we have a tendency to push away those that would help because we falsely associate them with those who have hurt us.

The resolve, that Elsa had, to let the doubt and fear go, to stop pretending and start living is incredible. That attitude is most of the time easier said than done though. But it can be done! As children of a loving Heavenly Father we can become great. Alternatively living here on this imperfect earth, we can be told some pretty confusing things that can hold us back. Sometimes the culture or place that we live in creates barriers. But despite those barriers, there are people and there is the Gospel of Christ to guide us over those barriers. We can stand strong in our lives through accessing the guidance of the gospel, and we will stand stronger when we stand together.

Your Frozen Brother

Hello Family, We’re Engaged!

Hello Family,

First of all I want to say that I am enjoying the posts that we have so far and I am very excited about our blog.  Hearing about what is going on in everyone’s lives and reading everyone’s testimony is very inspiring.

Getting engaged! and being engaged is awesome.  I’m glad that I’m here at this point in my life.  Ali and I are enjoying the process of preparing to start our life together.  There’s a lot of stress and work that goes into it, but we’re having fun along the way.  Here are a few previews of some of the engagements we took this last week.

I definitely wouldn’t be at this point in my life without the power of change, specifically change that comes through following Christ.  There are a lot of messages out there about change.  There are even songs on the radio that say that change isn’t that important.  They make some good points – there are things that don’t change right away and somethings that may not change in this lifetime.   For example, we’ll always be human and we will always be tempted.  Our “natural man” will be with us all a long the way and I don’t think that we should feel bad about that.  I don’t think we should feel bad about being tempted and feeling a desire to sin; we are after all mortal.

We are going to fail, in the short run, but this doesn’t mean there isn’t hope.  This doesn’t mean we can’t make changes, become stronger, and find true happiness.  The world would have us believe “we are who we are,” simply “born this way.” They say there’s nothing to change, and that we must simply embrace our natural self.  And I think it is ok that we embrace who we are, but I don’t think it ends there.

I know that we will find happiness and true joy if we believe that we can grow, change, and improve.  I believe that finding true joy, not the fleeting fun that sin brings, but true lasting joy, joy that brings peace, peace that never comes by following our “natural man” self, happens by following the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  It’s the only voice that gives us a solid and sure way to find that joy. Following that path is what has allowed me to become who I am and, because of making changes in my life, I am much happier.

Love,

Nick Rose